It’s been more than half a year since we’ve been living in the “new normal” of COVID-19.

How are you holding up?

In this new mental health coping practice on our pandemic resource hub, we’re sharing how those of us in South Dakota are impacted, how we can choose “radical acceptance” to cope with uncertainty, and four steps to “turn the mind” toward acceptance.

How COVID Has Impacted South Dakota and Beyond

We have now lived in our “COVID normal” lives for more than six months. For many of us, there continues to be a cycle of ups and downs.

When the pandemic first developed into what it is today, we all had to take different steps to help prevent the spread and keep ourselves as safe as possible. With these changes came feelings of frustration, confusion, and even fear.

We continued to learn different ways to be social with our loved ones. We had to adapt and find ways to conduct business. Eventually, washing hands and wearing a mask no longer seemed strange — rather, just something you do.

Yet for many, this change isn’t easy. In reality, almost all of us have struggled with the different changes we have had to make.

In South Dakota, we began with being behind the coasts, never having the same severity and high numbers that many more populated communities struggled to have. Still, we felt as if it was always around the corner, ready to come and hit us whenever we let our guard down.

Throughout the next few months, we experienced a “roller coaster” of feelings and attitudes toward COVID. Restaurants and stores began to reopen. With reopenings, some began to relax on mask wearing, while other businesses mandated the use. Depending on the channel of news, we were told either things would continue to get worse, or things aren’t as bad as we are told.

Everyone has their own opinion on the COVID pandemic. However, what we all share is the inconsistent message of what we should be doing.

Why We Need to Choose “Radical Acceptance”

I personally have experienced the “ups and downs” of COVID.

My wife and I are currently pregnant with our first child. We first found out about our pregnancy toward the end of February. We quickly began to look for any research on what COVID does to expecting mothers and their unborn children. The research did not (and still really doesn’t) exist.

With COVID-19 being a new virus, we continue to figure out how it impacts us all as time passes. The absence of hard “facts” on the virus can create anxiety with the unknown.

Many of us experience frustration with not feeling in control of what is happening with COVID. We want to go on a vacation we planned months ago, attend the concert or sporting event we have looked forward to, or just enjoy a nice meal at our favorite restaurant. We feel these things have been taken away from us, and there is nothing we can do.

When we lose things, we experience some degree of pain. Pain is difficult; however, it is bearable. When we fail to accept that, our pain turns into suffering. Suffering is even more difficult.

Acceptance transforms unbearable suffering into bearable pain. We can choose to fight reality and continue to increase our misery, or we can choose acceptance.

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) uses the term “radical acceptance,” which is accepting reality as it is with our mind, heart, and body.

Acceptance isn’t the easiest thing to do. It requires practice, practice, and even more practice. In fact, acceptance is something that we have to continuously do over and over again.

“Turning the mind” is another DBT skill that complements acceptance. Turning the mind is like a fork in the road. You have to turn your mind toward the acceptance road, and away from the road of rejecting reality.

Turning the mind is choosing to accept. The choice to accept does not itself equal acceptance; it just puts you on the path.

4 Steps to “Turn the Mind” Toward Acceptance

Observe that you are not accepting. Look for signs such as:
- Anger, bitterness, or annoyance
- Avoiding emotions
- Saying things like:
  - “Why me?”
  - “Why is this happening?”
  - “I can’t stand this”
  - “It shouldn’t be this way”
Go within yourself and make an inner commitment to accept reality as it is.
Do it again, over and over. Keep turning your mind to acceptance each time you come to the fork in the road where you can either reject reality or accept it.
Develop a plan for catching yourself in the future when you drift away from acceptance.

Turning the mind is something we all need to do as the COVID pandemic continues to be a part of our lives.

We all experience the “ups and downs” of COVID. One day, you may be positive, optimistic, and doing fine. The next day, you may feel defeated, anxious, and/or hopeless. This pattern often continues as time passes with conflicting and ever-changing information.

We all need to continually accept the things we cannot control and focus on what we can do. We can choose to go on that walk, call that one friend, pick up dinner from our favorite restaurant, or spend some purposeful time with those in our own “bubbles.”

Get the Help You Need

If you need help navigating the ups and downs of COVID, please reach out.

We are currently offering 100% online tele-health counseling services, so you can safely meet with any of our counselors from the safety of your home.

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