How to Choose a Sex Therapist
Key Takeaways
Not all therapists are trained in sexual health - look for an AASECT-certified sex therapist with a licensed mental health background.
The best sex therapists are trauma-informed, specialize in your specific concern, and follow strict ethical standards (no sexual touch or demonstrations).
Credentials matter, but so does therapeutic fit - you should feel safe, respected, and hopeful after your sessions.
If you’re searching for a sex therapist near you or exploring online sex therapy, you may quickly realize that not all therapists are trained in sexual health.
Sex therapy is a specialized clinical field that requires advanced education, supervised training, and a deep understanding of trauma, attachment, physiology, and relational dynamics. Experienced sex therapists often work closely with pelvic floor physical therapists, endocrinologists, urologists, and urogynecologists. As a result, they develop a working knowledge of sexual medicine and know where to find providers who can collaborate on medical issues that overlap with sexual functioning.
Sex therapy with Kimberly Keiser is grounded in research, clinical precision, and trauma-informed care. Whether you are navigating sexual challenges such as low desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginismus, or compulsive sexual behavior concerns, or working through sexual trauma, intimacy challenges, or infidelity recovery, here is what to look for when choosing a qualified sex therapist.
1. Look for an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist
The gold standard credential in the United States is certification through theAmerican Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
An AASECT Certified Sex Therapist has:
● A graduate degree in a licensed mental health field
● Formal education in human sexuality
● Specialized sex therapy training
● Supervised clinical hours
● Commitment to ethical standards
You can verify certified professionals through the AASECT directory.
To learn more about Kimberly’s credentials, visit the About Kimberly Keiser page.
2. Ensure They Are a Licensed Mental Health Professional
Sex therapy is psychotherapy — not coaching. Commonly licensed mental health professionals include clinical psychologists, mental health counselors, or social workers.
If you are addressing any type of mental or sexual health concern, ensure your provider is a licensed clinician.
Therapy with Kimberly Keiser integrates trauma-informed care, couples therapy expertise, somatic and mind-body therapeutic interventions, psychodynamic psychotherapy, and research-based sex therapy interventions.
Watch some videos of Kimberly describing her approach on the What to Expect page.
3. Choose a Trauma-Informed Sex Therapist
Many sexual concerns are rooted in trauma, shame, attachment injury, or forms of childhood abuse and neglect. The research literature well documents that sexual health concerns occur in individuals with a history of trauma or associated PTSD.
A trauma-informed sex therapist understands how trauma affects sexual functioning, nervous system dysregulation, emotional safety and pacing, and attachment dynamics. The ability to meet clients where they are is key to achieving meaningful relief. Trauma therapists understand the nuances of trauma and can tailor treatments to best suit the client’s needs.
If trauma is part of your story, you may want to explore Trauma Therapy Services alongside sex therapy.
4. Look for Experience With Your Specific Concern
Even among sex therapists, training and specialization vary widely. You will want to review the services offered on a therapist’s website and confirm that your concerns are listed as a specialization. Common reasons people seek sex therapy include:
● Low libido
● Erectile dysfunction
● Premature ejaculation
● Vaginismus or sexual pain
● Difficulty reaching orgasm
● Compulsive sexual behavior
● Infidelity recovery
● Desire discrepancy
● Kink and open relationships
● LGBTQA+
With Kimberly Keiser treatment plans are individualized and rooted in assessment. You can explore areas of focus on the Sex Therapy Services page.
5. Couples Sex Therapy Requires Specialized Training
If you are seeking couples sex therapy, it is important that your therapist understands attachment theory, communication skills, conflict resolution training, relational trauma, and has advanced training in couples therapy.
For example, desire discrepancies are rarely just about libido — they are often relational and occur as a symptom of unresolved relationship issues.
For more information on relational and couples-focused work, visit the Couples Therapy information page.
6. Ethical Standards Matter
According to the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists Code of Ethics:
● Sex therapy does not involve sexual touch
● There are no in-session sexual demonstrations
● Exercises are assigned for private practice
As you research various sex therapists, trust how you feel as you read through their websites. Do you feel there is a high degree of professionalism? When you speak with a potential sex therapist on the phone to inquire about services, does your body feel relaxed and safe? Trust yourself when making decisions about your medical care, but especially about medical care that is deeply personal and sensitive. Professional boundaries protect safety and trust.
7. Look for Inclusive, Sex-Positive Care
Sexual health is influenced by gender identity, sexual orientation, culture and religion, relationship structure, disability, and neurodivergence. A therapist’s attitude and personal belief system can impact how they view the variations of sexual expression. Trained and certified sex therapists undergo a rigorous process training in a non-judgmental and compassionate approach to human sexuality. Additionally, certified sex therapists are required to undergo training that assesses their own biases to ensure that those do not enter the therapy room.
Kimberly Keiser is committed to inclusive, sex-positive, and respectful care and values the innate diversity in human sexuality.
8. Research-Informed & Evidence-Based Treatment
Sexual health is complex. Effective therapy integrates trauma science, attachment theory, neuroscience, relational research, and clinical experience. When choosing a sex therapist, if you are able to find a provider who is involved in ongoing research, this will further support their knowledge advances in the field, and their commitment to excellence.
Kimberly Keiser’s work is informed by ongoing research and professional scholarship. You can explore this perspective further on her ResearchGate page.
9. Trust the Therapeutic Fit
Credentials matter — but relational safety and connection matter just as much. After your first sessions, ask yourself:
● Do I feel understood?
● Do I feel respected?
● Do I feel hopeful?
Red flags when choosing a sex therapist include no formal training in sexual health, avoidance of direct language, moralizing tone, promises of “quick fixes,” boundary violations, or a projection of one’s own personal view of sexual health. Therapy should feel structured, safe, and collaborative.
Sexual health is central to emotional well-being, relational connection, and personal confidence. When therapy is clinically precise, ethically grounded, and compassionately delivered, meaningful change becomes possible.
You can learn more about the services offered at Kimberly’s services page or if you’re ready to explore working together, you can Schedule an Intake Consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions About Choosing a Sex Therapist
What credentials should I look for in a sex therapist?
Look for an AASECT-certified sex therapist. This credential requires a graduate degree in a licensed mental health field, formal education in human sexuality, specialized sex therapy training, supervised clinical hours, and a commitment to ethical standards. You can verify certified professionals through the AASECT directory.
Is sex therapy the same as regular therapy?
Sex therapy is psychotherapy, not coaching. Licensed mental health professionals who practice sex therapy include clinical psychologists, mental health counselors, and social workers. Sex therapy does not involve sexual touch, there are no in-session demonstrations, and exercises are assigned for private practice.
How do I know if I need a trauma-informed sex therapist?
Many sexual concerns are rooted in trauma, shame, attachment injury, or forms of childhood abuse and neglect. Research documents that sexual health concerns occur in individuals with a history of trauma or associated PTSD. A trauma-informed sex therapist understands how trauma affects sexual functioning, nervous system dysregulation, emotional safety, and attachment dynamics.
What are the most common reasons people seek sex therapy?
Common reasons people seek sex therapy include low libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginismus or sexual pain, difficulty reaching orgasm, compulsive sexual behavior, infidelity recovery, desire discrepancy, kink and open relationships, and LGBTQA+ concerns.
What should I look for in a sex therapist for couples?
If you are seeking couples sex therapy, it is important that your therapist understands attachment theory, communication skills, conflict resolution, and relational trauma and has advanced training in couples therapy. For example, desire discrepancies are rarely just about libido and often occur as a symptom of unresolved relationship issues.
What should I expect and not expect in sex therapy sessions?
According to the AASECT Code of Ethics, sex therapy does not involve sexual touch, there are no in-session sexual demonstrations, and exercises are assigned for private practice. Professional boundaries protect safety and trust.
How do I find a sex therapist who is affirming of my identity and relationship structure?
Sexual health is influenced by gender identity, sexual orientation, culture and religion, relationship structure, disability, and neurodivergence. Trained and certified sex therapists undergo rigorous training in a non-judgmental and compassionate approach to human sexuality and are required to assess their own biases to ensure those do not enter the therapy room.
What are the signs that I've found the right sex therapist?
After your first sessions, ask yourself: Do I feel understood? Do I feel respected? Do I feel hopeful? Red flags include no formal training in sexual health, avoidance of direct language, a moralizing tone, promises of quick fixes, boundary violations, or a projection of the therapist's personal views onto your sexual health. Therapy should feel structured, safe, and collaborative.
