sexuality and trauma

"I only feel comfortable and open sexually when I don’t know someone very well. Why is it difficult to be sexually open after I get into a relationship?” –Female

Written by Kimberly Keiser

It is not uncommon for some women to report that they can be sexually and emotionally open and vulnerable only at the beginning of a relationship but then find it difficult to sustain that emotional intensity and sexual openness after the relationship has developed past the infatuation stage. Some women report that once they start to get to know someone, they shut down emotionally and find sexual intimacy very difficult. This can happen despite wanting to be in a long-term relationship or caring about your partner.

At the beginning of a relationship, before people know each other well, it is easier to enter into a fantasy dynamic, where the intensity of the connection is based on the newness of the relationship.